I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
