this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
