he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
