maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
