How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize