I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
wow bdsm is so cute
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
