The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
