I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
