My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
