The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The air was thick with penises
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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