I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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