So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
