we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
