we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
