my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
