Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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