Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
