he thought i was a dude.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
