I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
