are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
