i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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