It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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