Define "chronic" masturbator.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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