Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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