i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
