Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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