i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
