covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
