Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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