sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
