he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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