She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
