just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
