Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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