Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I could make wine with my vomit
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
