He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
