we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize