sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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