Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize