also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
