bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
