we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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