But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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