I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize