ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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