Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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