Got a toothbrush?
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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