Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
