So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
