White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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