Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
