HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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