So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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