if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
