# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
