I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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