I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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