Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
