also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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